Summer is often portrayed as a carefree season of respite, renewal, and abundance, a much-anticipated reward for enduring the toils and hardships of winter. But as pandemic numbers rise along with societal tensions and oppressive Piedmont heat, your experience probably stands in stark contrast to this happy idealization of what summer is supposed to be. You may be feeling anything but summery right now.
Instead of feeling carefree, you may be heavy-hearted with your own grief or deeply affected by the suffering of others. Instead of enjoying respite, you may be exhausted from your efforts to cope with more of the same month after month, with the daunting realization of many months to come. Instead of finding renewal, you may be feeling stuck, powerless, helpless to make even desired change happen. Instead of experiencing abundance, you may be chafing at the limits of everyday life in a constricted and confusing world.
How can we create a bit of summer in the midst of such challenges? How can we find moments of respite, renewal, even abundance? As a grief counselor, I often ask clients to turn within when all is crisis or chaos, to tune in to their innate wisdom. But today I invite you to turn your attention outward, to notice and savor what is right here, right now. Because whatever we rest our attention on, grows.
By default, the brain rests its attention on what is bad and scary, designed to scan for and store negative experiences in an attempt to protect us in times of threat. In times like this of great uncertainty and change, the brain is very busy collecting frightening information and quickly gets stuck in overdrive.
Therefore we have to pay extra attention to what is good and positive in order to get the brain to truly register it. When the brain finally gets it, the body gets it. It is simple but true: when we practice noticing and resting our attention on what is good and positive, we feel better. And when we feel better, we think better. And when we think better, we act better.
Scientifically speaking, when we notice something good and keep our attention there, the brain responds by deactivating the sympathetic nervous system , whose “fight-or-flight” stress response is helpful in crisis but depleting and harmful when stuck in overdrive. Directing our attention to goodness and beauty engages the parasympathetic nervous system, whose “rest-and-digest” relaxation response deploys a cascade of soothing chemicals to produce calm and and a sense of wellbeing in the body. This allows the body to rest and renew, promoting healing. It also allows the mind space and time to integrate and "digest" the constant changes, and to choose more effective action.
In other words — it works! But it takes a little practice. The parasympathetic nervous system is like an underused muscle that grows stronger every time it is exercised. So even though the gyms in North Carolina remain closed, you can still work out. Here’s how:
Look around you right now. Notice something that is beautiful, gives you pleasure, or for which you are grateful.
Rest your attention on it for 1 minute, allowing yourself to notice details of shape, color, texture, sound, fragrance, taste. Drink it in.
If you want extra bang for your buck, write it down. Set a timer for 5 minutes and write about what you see, describing it in detail and describing what it evokes in you.
Check in with your body and note the ways it has calmed. What emotions are you noticing now? What thoughts? Notice how it makes you feel good to pay attention to something good.
You can also challenge yourself to a daily Gratitude/Positivity Practice, beginning or ending your day by noting 3 things for which you are grateful or can name as positive in this moment. It can be especially powerful to “bookend” your day by doing this morning and evening. It is OK to repeat yourself — you are helping your brain store vital information for your wellbeing!
If your spirit needs a little summer, I invite you to experience respite, renewal and even abundance by this practice of turning your attention to something good or positive. Rest your attention there, stay with it, savoring the experience to the fullest. Give your overworked brain — and the rest of your body — a vacation. Or perhaps even more accurately, a stay-cation.
Photo Credit: Cristian Escobar on Unsplash